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Can you imagine that according to PAGASA the amount of rainfall that fell to Manila in just 3 hrs this morning is equivalent to half month of rain during normal season???

what?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

And take note that it didn't rain for just 3 hrs only.. It rained for like the whole day, same magnitude of rainfall!!!!! I can only imagine why flood in Ortigas is 6 feet already.

I'm so stuck here in the office and I so want to go home... :(

bakit? bakit? bakit?

bakit hindi ko na maintindihan ang interface ng multiply?? hahahaha! parang ilang linggo lang akong hindi nag open ngmultiply parang nawawala na ata ako..

ako ay isang SELF-PROCLAIMED-OVER FANATIC ng Transformers 1 movie. Sobrang excited pa ko nung January 2009 kse nalaman kong June 24 ang playdate ng sequel at napanood ko na din by that time ang trailer... hahaha!

pero bakit, bakit, at isa pang mega bakit hindi ako nagandahan sa Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen?

(1) okay na yung number ng robots sa 1st movie, sakto lng, hindi nkakaumay.. alam mo kung cno ang autobots at kung sino ang decepticons.. pero sa 2nd movie... uuhhmm.. sabi nga ng boyfriend ng friend ko: "mahal, alin ba jan ang kalaban?" ahahahahahahaha!

(2) OA naman yung decepticons!!! All sizes! Palaban sa lahat ng sukat, kung baga sa department store "houses all sizes: XXS-XXXL".. May sobrang laki, sobrang taba, sobrang liit, sobrang nipis, may uugod ugod pang decepticon, may school girl na nagtatransform into a decepticon, may nag volt-in pra maging isang mas mega pa kay Megatron, uber laki! Nagmukha ng keychain si Bumblebee! hahaha...

(3) medyo generic yung story line? or hindi ko lng tlga type yung may mas evil pa pa lang villain kay Megatron tapos gusto nyang kunin yung sun ng earth..

(4) hindi na kagandahan yung effects.. true ito! may mga effects na halatang computerized, hindi na kcng ganda nung sa one.

OH WELL.. one thing I cannot contest is that: Megan Fox is SIZZLING, SMOKING, SCORCHING HOT! whew! ♥

pero kahit na hindi kagandahan tong 2nd movie.. Hindi ko na maiaalis sa sistema kong fan pa rin ako ni Megatron, Optimus, Starscream, Bee, at iba pa! ♥ Aabangan pa din ang susunod na movie!!! haha!

Naisip kong..

***Naduduwag pala ako kaya ayokong pumunta sa malayong lugar..
Naisip kong naduduwag pala ako kaya ayokong lumayo.. Ayokong mawala at masayang ang bawat pagkakaibigang binuo at iningatan ko sa loob ng dalawapu't isang taon. Natatakot akong iwanan ang lahat dahil alam kong wala ng makakahigit at mkakapalit sa mga ito at sa lahat ng kung anong mayroon ako. Kapalit ng maginhawang pamumuhay ay ang mga mbubuting taong isa isang umangkin na ng kani-kanilang parte sa aking puso.

Ang paglayo ay parang pagdurog na rin sa pinilas nilang mga piraso ng buhay ko. AT oo, naduduwag ako dahil alam kong wala ng makakahigit pa sa mga ito.

Naisip kong...
***Hindi sa masyado akong malakas ang tama sa mga pangyayari sa aking nkaraan, kundi dahil sadyang ngayon ko lang napagtanto ang kahalagahan at kasiyahan ng pagiging malaya. Hindi sa hindi ako makalimot, kundi dahil alam kong hindi ako madaling maging komportable sa isang tao.

AT NAISIP KONG...
**matagal ko ng naisip to.. ang pangit ng bagong skin ng multiply!!!! haha!

I borrow the words of dear Bianca Gonzalez when I say, "My heart is in the right place."

Yes! Finally, I've come to appreciate the "being alone" in life. And am very much happy. I've come to know and discover that in being alone you do not lose yourself instead you gain more of it. I've come to know that as people drift away from my life, numerous others invite themselves to mine.

Though, the irony of this is that as I drew closer to loving myself more each day, I coast away from happy endings. It seems that I use my mind more than my heart nowadays, and the outcome: I no longer believe in happily ever after, at least for me. Furthermore, I am afraid if I have one of my own awaiting.

I don't want to be hypocrite and say I don't dream and wish for my own happy ending. Honestly, I do, very often in fact. I am contented though that even if happy endings don't seem to work for me, at least for others it does.

I seem to have chosen to close my eyes to the people who have hardheadedly and persistently stick their faces to mine. The reason: fear. Big time fear. As much as I wanted one happy ending, I don't want any lukewarm story. To be happy is the only thing I want and choose. If it's not going to bring happiness, then let's not ignite the fire at all.

Turning my back.. I have always chosen to turn my back now.. and run away..

Na-combo ako ng sakit! yun lng ang masasabi ko..

Mga tatlong linggo na ang nkakalipas, muli akong dinalaw ng suki ko ng sakit na tonsilitis, at dhil may abscess na naman ang lalamunan ko kinailangan ko na namang magpunta sa medyo makulit kong ENT pra ipa-scrape ang abscess.. sanay na ako dito kaya parang normal na lang sa akin ang proseso ng paglalagay nya ng anesthesia sa lalamunan ko at pagkayod n abscess.. dalwang linggo ko ding ginamot ang tonsilitis na ito at dahil ayaw na kong tablan ng cefalexin, iniba ko ang gamot ko sa cotrimoxazole... makalipas ang dalawang linggong paginom ng gamot, akala ko okay na, masayang masaya na akong nagpaplano n mga gagawin ko sa mga darating na weekend. Ngunit, kinabukasan (linggo ito) gumising akong may napaka sakit na katawan, akala ko nasobrahan lang ako sa tulog dahil nung gabing iyon ay labing apat na oras akong tulog.. Nakapag simba ang nakapag-mall pa ako nung araw na iyon.. Paguwi ko ako'y natulog na ulit dahil nga masakit na ang katawan ko at nahihilo na rin ako.. Pag gising ko (Lunes na) aba'y hindi na ako diretso maglakad, mabigat na ang ulo ko at may konting lagnat.. Kinahapunan tumaas pa lalo ang lagnat ko kaya hindi na ako pumasok sa trabaho.. nang ako'y matulog ang alam ko sinat pa lang ang sakit ko pero nung magising ako, inaapoy na ako ng lagnat at pakiramdam ko nagdedeliryo na ako...

Napansin na ng aking butihing ina na may rashes daw ako at sobrang lagnat na, at dahil ang kapatid ko ay nilagnat lamang ng tatlong araw at namatay na lang bigla, nagpanic na ang nanay ko at dinala ako sa ospital.. check up lang sbi namin sa nurse, pero ng dumating ang doctor i-admit na daw ako.. ayun, natuluyan tuloy.. tinurukan na aako ng swero ng residenteng doctor na napakasakit! Sa awa naman ng Diyos, nawala na ang lagnat ko nung ikalawang araw ko sa ospital, at sa ikatlong araw ay nakalabas na ako.. Sobrang inip ko na nga nung ikatlong araw sabi ko dun sa nurse "Hindi pa ba ako lalabas?? Iinumin ko na lang tong dextrose ko para makalabas na ko.. haha!"..

napanood ko na lahat ng palabas ng abs cbn simula Umagang kay Ganda, Mr. Bean, Naruto, ...... hanggang SNN, Bandila.. mula sign in hanggang sign-off.. wahaha!

At syempre, kung kilala nyo ako, walang dull moments na wala akong naiisip na realizations o kung ano mang munting kaisipan..

1. Siguro madami na akong nagawang kasalanan at hindi ako makuha sa simpleng paalala kaya medyo kinalog ako ni Bro. Ito ay isa na namang magandang opportunity para ituwid ang mga mali. Bagong pagkakataon: USE IT WISELY!

2. Sa mga pagkakataong katulad nito, nalalaman mo kung sino sino ang mga nagmamalasakit sa iyo, yung iba inaasahan mo na, pero ang mas masaya ay yung hindi mo alam na may malasakit pala sayo.

3. Nakikita mo na kahit matanda at malaki ka na, aalagaan ka pa ring parang baby ng mommy mo.. bibihisan ka pa din nya, pupunasan, at kung ano ano pa..

4. importante ang healthcard at philhealth.. WAG IWAWALA! haha.. kasi ako naiwala ko, buti na lang nagawan ng paraan..

5. Balansehin ang lahat ng bagay na tumatakbo sa isip mo, wag masyadong umasa sa mga bagay o taong gusto mong mangyari.. madaming magagandang bagay sa mundo hindi ka muubusan.

6. Maubos man ang magagandang bagay sa earth, mas maraming di hamak na MAS magagandang bagay sa heaven kaya hindi ka pa rin mawawalan..


***At kahit na medyo masakit pa din ang ulo ko ngayon at hilong hilo pa ako, okay lang, madami akong natutunan.

Maraming salamat pala sa lahat ng dumalaw:
Tita Flor na nagbantay din sa akin tuwing umuuwi sila mama
Sharina, Marlon, Meg, Joseph, Ate Myrna sa moral support at pag aliw sa akin sa pamamagitan ng mahahaba nyong kwento.. haha
Pastor Orbe sa heart-warming na healing prayer

Salamat din sa mga nagtext at nagpray para sa akin..

At sa mga OFFICEMATES ko..... miss na miss ko na kayoooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!! Hindi ko alam kung mkakapasok na ako mamaya kasi hilo pa ako lalo na pag nagbabyahe or nakatayo.. Pero miss ko na ang office, grabe.. I'll see you soon! I'll bring some Salmonella for you.. haha.. joke lang... sana miss nyo na rin ako.. wahaha..


P.S.
Ingat kayo sa mga kinakain nyo at linisin nyong mabuti ang mga gamit sa pagluluto sa bahay nyo, baka may Salmonella, magka typhoid din kayo.. hehe..


much love ang hugs,
ikai

another quotable quote:

"we never know what's wrong without the pain, sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.."

 

"what is denied becomes strongly desired"

 

 

"to make a man move give him some competition"

 

***i love it gladys!

when i was a kid, every weekend my parents and I are always somewhere far from home. we go to baguio at least once every month. and usually, if we're not in baguio, I am enjoying rolling my blades in tagaytay.

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.. those we're the days.. i dunno if it's just due to time constraints as I entered highschool and college that we weren't able to continue wheeling around or maybe, more likely, because of financial constraints.

Now that I have saved microscopic amount of money jumping around, all I can think of for the past three months is to have to travel again (aside from acquiring an itouch which I am so finding it hard to afford). travel, travel, travel......

FOUR PLACES: Calaruega, Sonya's Graden in Tagaytay, Baguio, and a beach with fine white sand!

I think have to wait till summer though, apparently I still haven't earned a lot of leaves for a decent vacation. Decent for me meaning a couple weeks or moreeeeeee... and also, I still have to wait so that I can save some more so my money would be slightly macroscopic than micro.

Hmpf.... I hope the waiting wouldn't take so much time. I am so eager, my feet are already scorching ITCHY to go some place!

Ngayong week na to, kakaiba ang pagkabusy, hilong hilo ako sa trabaho ko dhil complicated ang mga pinaggagawa ko, hay, buti nlng isang gabi nlng at tapos na ang linggong to. Ngayon papatunayan ko sa inyo na iba tlga ang experiences sa bus. Dati kinwento ko sa inyo yung dalawang hindi nman pala magkakilala pero nagholding hands sa bus, ngayon may bago akong adbentyur na mas exciting!

Anyway, mas maganda kung tagalog ang medium of writing kaya magtatagalog ako.

Umalis ako ng office mga 8.50 na cguro yun, medyo late na. Sa quezon ave ako bumaba para dun na magantay ng bus papuntang bulacan. Kumusta nman, tirik na tirik yung araw tpos 30 minutes bago may dumaang bus at eto yun eh, punong-puno yung bus di na ko nkasakay so ayun, sun-bathing nnman sa ilalim ng nkaka-cancer nang init ni haring araw. At.. yehey! after another 20 minutes may dumating na ulit na bus. At mas lalong yehey dhil kalahati lang yung laman ng bus. Yipeeeeeee! mkakauwi na ko, mga bandang 9.40 na nito eh kaya pagod na pagod na ko. tpos syempre dhil buwaya yung mga bus na pauwing bulacan humihinto sila sa lahat ng kanto na pwedeng hintuan at nagsasakay ng lahat ng ng pwedeng isakay, kung pwede nga lang nyang isakay yung mga hindi pupuntang bulacan eh isasakay pa din nya yun. At dahil sa sobrang gahaman nung driver at konduktor, yung mga malas na taong late na sumakay eh nkatayo na dun sa aisle at mas malala pa dun ay dalawang column pa yung mga nakatayo, talikuran. O di ba? san ka pa! ang swerte ko dhil sa quezon ave ako sumakay kaya nakaupo pa ko ng maayos. Tapos ang mega pinnacle pa ng lahat eh yung konduktor eh nag-aannounce pa dun sa harapan ng bus na "umusod po tayo sa likod, cge na po, talikuran nalang po tayo...." Tapos dhil walang gumagalaw dahil hindi na makagalaw, susundan pa nya ng "Yun pong naka puting sando na may red umusod lang po sa likod...... yun pong nakasalamin jan tumagilid lang po tyo ng may maisakay pa.."

ang OA!!!!!! grabe sa OA. Tapos sa sobrang inis nung mga pasahero, biglang nagkaron ng pandemonium sa loob ng bus. Delubyo! Yung mga tao, mapa-nakatayo man o nakaupo, bigla clang sabay-sabay na nagsalita at nagreklamo. Halo-halong salita na yung nadinig ko, may mura, may dinaan sa biro, sa tawa, may dinaan sa pagbubunganga... At sa lahat ng nagsalitang yun, isang ginang na medyo mukhang lola na ang matibay na hindi lumubay sa kakabunganga sa konduktor. Sabi nya "kayo kse mga gahaman kayo, overloading na kayo, d na nga kme makagalaw dito.. sinasabi ko syo kukunin ko plate number nyo at isusumbong ko kayo sa may-ari tsaka sa LTO.. makikita nyo, matatanggal kayo dito. Kung makasalita ka akala  mo ikaw lang ang bus.." Delubyo!!!!! Gusto kong sumigaw ng isang bonggang bonggang delubyo!!!!!!!! may delubyo sa bus! Yung konduktor nman kse eh nkipagsagutan pa dun sa ale. Eh kitang kita nman na mali sila. Nsa NLEX na kmi nung huminto ang delubyo. Tapos ng maikling katahimikan bigla namang may umalingawngaw na falcetto voice ng isang lalake na kumakanta ng "it's to late to apologiiiiiiiiize... it's too laaaaaaaaaaaate.. it's too late to apologize. it's too laaaaaaaate... toooooooo laaaaaaaaaaaaaate..." Tapos sabay-sabay kming napatingin sa isang lalaking naka-ear phones at sabay sabay ding nagtawanan kse naisip nmin kumakanta pala sya, wala syang kamalay malay na ang lakas na pala ng boses nya! hahahahahahaha! parang swak pa yung kinakanta nya dun sa situation sa bus. grabe, what a ride to home!

madalas nakakapagod ang mamasahe araw araw papuntang maynila at pauwi ng bulacan. pero may mga okasyon ding mapapaisip kang masaya din ang gantong adventure sa buhay! tulad ng kaninang umaga. inabot man ako ng halos tatlong oras pauwi mula commonwealth hanggang bulacan, may natutunan nman ako at may maidadagdag nnman ako sa koleksyon ko ng maaksyon at kagilagilalas kong experience sa bus!

I hate the part where I am labeled a brat just because I am an only child. I know I don’t brat around. Though it hurts when I don’t get what I want (that I think everybody feels), moreover, it hurts more when I feel rejected. I try so hard to get it my own way, not by forcing others to go get it for me.

I have been doing a lot of rumination the past couple of weeks, and maybe, just maybe, I thought of possible explanations why I kept on hanging on the things that are too hot for my hand.

Being an only child and having lived a life alone for 21 years has been the biggest, so far, challenge given to me. I don’t know what the Lord was thinking for believing that I can do this alone. Nonetheless, I have big faith in Him because He has bigger faith in me. Bigger faith that I never deserved.

Time alone is all that is overflowing in my life. Product of this is my continuous blogging of my senseless thoughts as you are experiencing right now. And if I could just segregate these “times” well, I would probably have the perfect little life of a 21-year old. Not too surprising though is that I am not able to. I cling on too much to the things that I already have even those that I already should let go of. In addition to this, I also cling ahead of time to those that are yet to come. And the result? I not just have bountiful, I have too much baggage on my back, cold, hot, freezing and boiling ones.

The reason for this, I believe is that because I’ve been living my life alone for so long, not that I am bragging about everything I have, but because WHAT I HAVE AND WHAT I HAD IS ALL THAT I CAN HAVE IN MY LIFE. I cling on too long and too much because of the fear that the ONLY things that I have will leave or will be gone from my life. I am afraid that whatever I have in the moment will change. That every good thing in my life will fall into shattered pieces and the familiar shores will drift away. I am afraid that if I gain something, I will lose something in return. Hence, most of the time I’d rather choose to stay stuck even in my miserable situation rather than risk on stepping onto the light and leaving some part of me behind. I feel like everything and everyone that I met has taken a special piece of me, without them I am not me, I am not who I used to be; that each time someone or something has to say goodbye I feel like I am becoming less of my better self and less of a person.

I don’t know if I proved something about myself with this. All I know is that slowly, little by little, I am deciphering what’s wrong. So please, keep up with me ‘till I find my way back…

SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One (Nov 22 - Dec 21)

Good-natured optimist. ---tlga?

Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). ---definitely!

Indulges self. ---a little

Boastful. ---you tell me

Likes luxuries and gambling. ---u-oh! i am an anti-havaianas, anti-casino.. youtell me again..

Social and outgoing. ---um.. anti-social, i am not a "crowd" person

Doesn't like responsibilities. ---i am a commitment-loving person..

Often fantasizes. ---this one is right!

Impatient. ---this one even more right!

Fun to be around. ---what do you think?

Having lots of friends. ---i guess so..

Flirtatious. ---maybe nobody knows, but yes... very...

Doesn't like rules. ---exactly!

Sometimes hypocritical. ---yup yup!

Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. ---that's me!

Doesn't like being doubted. ---that's even more me!

Beautiful inside and out. ---i wouldn't doubt this one! haha! (wink!)

 

***segue: is this in any relation to Chinese NEw Year? hahahaha...

Oh well.. I just found out today that a cousin of mine ran away from home. Leaving her 2 year-old daughter to her parents. But much due to depression, her dad was hospitalized that same day. Which brings her daughter back to her husband with whom she's not in good terms right now. whew.. whatta mess she has in her life.

In my many years if watching her do her own stuff which eventually leads her to messing her life even more, I really thank God that I haven't lost my mind the way she lost hers. I don't really know, everybody needs somebody who listens. And I don't think we are all no different from her. We are one hell of crazy people living in a crazy world. It's just a matter of choice.

I don't really know how to help her though i really would want to. If I can make her world stop and hug her tight I would. It seemed to me that she's always just running away from her rising filing cabinet of problems and does not intend on resolving even one. This leaves me speechless. God help her. Please pray.